Taking Care of Myself by My Self, Takes Away The Joy from Being Taken Care for

Updated: Jun 28, 2021


There’s a lot of pressure to “do self care”, to separate ”me time”, but what if the moments when we are, in fact, being taken care of, are too, when it’s not all about ourselves.


My son and I experimenting baking a loaf of bread.

 

It is in the moments when I am faithfully following and enjoying the callings in my heart, towards benefiting others, when I realize that I don’t even have to worry about my self being taken care of.


My inner being is nurtured with those opportunities where I can see my life influencing, and benefiting others.


I’m pretty sure I am not alone in this feeling.


Living in the present reveals purpose.


And that is the tricky part too because, in order to follow the true desires of my heart, the ones that bring the kind of satisfaction that lasts, I must surrender what I want right now!


To make things even more complicated, sometimes (most of the times), all I know is my immediate gratification desires!


Oh, those tasty, destructive and overpowering selfish desires that, don’t consider others, nor our true well being either.


Immediate desires, emotions, energies and forces that take possession of our cognitive mind and command us to satisfy them.


In fact, satisfying these immediate desires, means, many times: going against the things that I REALLY want.


You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God -James 4:2

A moment of contemplating scriptures, seeking to have intimacy with God.


I want to get out of reality at times, and just do something that will bring me that pleasure sensation, watching tv, being rude at somebody, over eat, etc. but the truth is that, I want more than that.

I don’t really want to disconnect from reality, instead, my true satisfaction is to be so connected, so intimate with the desires of my heart, with who I am; so grounded that, nothing could separate me from my purpose.

My best bet at that point is to wrestle, push thru the temptation, take control over myself and lean to a moment of honest meditation instead.


Where I can better listen and notice the noise, quietness or gratefulness inside me, express it to God and listen to Him, receive his logic and peace.

It is in that moment where my mind can recognize what’s in the spirit He’s given me...


When I can decide to take possession of what’s prepared for me in the future, through my present.


When I can realize that I am being taken care of, and all I need to do is do my part, and enjoy the ride.


 

It’s only recently that this has gotten so clear for me.


I´ll bring an example: I felt pressured before and unsatisfied at times with “only being a mom”, only being a mom, ha!

It was impossible for me to surrender to the present and stop focusing on the possibilities out of my reach.


It is as silly as it is real because, that mindset of dissatisfaction was not only nurturing feelings of frustration and insecurity but, at the same time I wasn’t able to realize and access to all the chances I did have access to, on my present.

These chances were in fact conditions necessary for me to grow into greater future escenarios.


Friends and I finishing a photo shoot just for the joy of it.


Today I won’t worry about taking care of myself, I know it’s all taken care for me.

Time and time again, when I surrender my expectations and judgements, I can see that God’s got everything under control.


Not only that, but that his plans for us actually go beyond any happiness that we already know!



Following the calling to write on this website, has taken me into tapping on so many other streams of opportunities, from meeting talented people and learning from them, to organizing zoom painting parties, to everything beyond and in between.


After a while of waiting for the inspiration to paint an original painting, God surprised me again, not only with the idea, but involving kids into the execution.


 

It is not always easy to submit our free will and say: I trust you, I will live today in your love and not worry about tomorrow, I won’t go crazy trying to have control because You, God, are in control.

But it is a practice that will indeed yields sweet fruits, the kind of fruits that leave a seed which will grow more trees and will give more fruit.


The kind of fruit that will nurture not only you, but a village.


Go ahead sweet life of God and expand my territory!

(Isaiah 54)




Many times, it’s like opportunities were waiting for us to be found, they just needed us to be present to see them!



Exploring and practicing different mediums of artistic expression was a deeply buried desired waiting to be unearthed




Other times, we´ll have access to opportunities we never imagined we desire!