Updated: Feb 16
Focusing on oneself can be exhausting, even a dead trap. There’s relief and expansion outside us, waiting.
It’s amazing how our sense of self is very much alive since we are born. When we are young, it leads us towards discovering our curiosity, it moves us to explore the world, but also to be alert of danger and protect our integrity; all useful, built-in functions for our benefit.
Even more amazing how it, our self-awareness, gets more sophisticated as we get more and more exposed to different scenarios, and two extremes can be found:
In one hand, as time goes by, ourself is fueled not only by curiosity anymore, but our actions are also moved by empathy and love.
In the other hand thou, when left without boundaries, ourself can continue to grow away from innocent curiosity, to plain self-centeredness.
When self is the only person featuring our thoughts and actions, self can consume our lives in every way. It´s a dead end because, while it becomes prideful and full of it self, it loses the ability to listen, learn, renew, grow and empathize. At the same time, it becomes hyper sensitive to it´s fragility, and need for protection. It´s vulnerable to experience a fall at the smallest provocation.
Proverbs 16:18 explains:
“Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall.”
We can realize that’s happening when our mind is getting exhausted, our very sensitive self can in fact, feel overwhelmed.
Well then, since by nature, we are driven by curiosity to explore, and are hungry to conquer more and more, we are bound to encounter a limit if all we are, is focusing in ourselves. Our heart wants to expand!
It is in fact, God´s desire for us:
“...Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes
for you will spread out to the right and to the left...."
Within God´s sovereignty, our hearts can perceive that there is more greatness than what we know. It is waiting for us to be accessed, we need to look for it in the right place:
“...we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a glass the glory (goodness) of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 3:18
There’s as much as we can think, process and get done at a given moment in time! We need to kick back and take rest from our own perspective, and behold with unveiled faces into God´s glory.
If we don´t, our self-awareness becomes so swollen, so prideful, that we lose the ability to change our mind (repent), to learn, to be fresh and new. Our hearts harden with pride.
A harden heart isn´t able to hear anybody but it self, and the thing is, although the voice of the world is loud and shouts at us (all the time!), God´s voice is like a whisper.
“After the earthquake, came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire, came a gentle whisper.” 1 Kings 19:12
It takes an effort to practice humbling oneself, be still and quiet down to receive the counsel, word and life from the one who is Alfa and Omega. It requires free will to protect the heart and make oneself available to say, Lord, here I am, I believe you, and only you, my heart is yours and only yours.
The other alternative, allow me to bring it up again, is to become so aware with our own self, our vulnerability and physicality, that we become fearful, selfish, and bounded. Willing to feed our weaknesses with evil if that means "protecting ourselves".
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
We need to let this precious sense of self -that we are so very blessed with- evolve, expand to the next level: True empathy, true compassion, true love, and all of it´s sweet fruit.
Remember Isaiah 54? We are called to enlarge our territory and stretch out our boundaries without fear. All of that, while staying grounded, humble, admiring our holy Abba, who is pure love and in whom we live now.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
1 John 4:18
Once ego is tamed to allow God´s presence to have a higher place than us: we become unstoppable.
It’s a new level of living because, even when we’ve gained understanding of our emotions, sensations and needs, it’s no longer them who govern our circumstances, so our circumstances don´t drive us either, but it is the very own word (logic) of God who drives us:
"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."
That´s the logic expressed by the word in the flesh, Jesus, on Mathew 5:5.
So just to close this post:
Be bold, dare to be meek and remember:
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.... Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”
Believing in his word, in his logic for our lives, is being meek.
...Let God be true, and every human being a liar...
Let absolutely no pride rob you of your inheritance. Believe Him, keep your thoughts captive in who He truly is, renew your mind with his logic to really see Him and, engage with Him genuinely, without lies and wrong judgements trying to make you believe that you are not his temple. He, who has redeemed us is love, and:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
- Paul, Corinthians 13:4-8
It’s just amazing how life can be so rich in all its stages.